


Local Losers™

by psychicdreamsandangelwings



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Asexual Character, Attempt at Humor, Child Abuse, Disabled Character, F/M, Fluff, Group chat, M/M, Mentions of Anxiety, Multi, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Polyamorous Characters, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recreational Drug Use, Texting, Trans Character, Trans Richie Tozier, bill and richie are fandom hoes sorry i don't make the rules, eddie is soft but feisty, georgie is alive and everyone loves him, lots of bad parenting, mentions of depression, mike is the dad friend, pennywise's bitchass doesn't exist, richie and stan have a special friendship and it’s v pure, richie is A Lot but they love him, stan has ocd, stan loves to give ben and bev shit but he loves them, stozier friendship, the last thing this fandom needs is another gc fic but here i am, they're all juniors
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2019-02-15 12:30:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13031178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psychicdreamsandangelwings/pseuds/psychicdreamsandangelwings
Summary: not ike: look at eddie being all soft and shitanxiety™: shut the fuck up mike i will end younot ike: never mind i take it back





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: Okay I'm going to get rid of pennywise because I just want to do a short and kind of fluffy group chat fic to get me back into writing and not deal with any angst  
> Also Me: makes up angsty background plots for most of the characters
> 
> Not really sure where this came from. I've kind of been in a writing funk lately and I thought maybe this would help me get back into the swing of things. If you've read anything by me you'll know I have a bad habit of turning my short ideas into really long fics and also I'm pretty much incapable of writing anything without angst in it. It's still going to be stupid and fluffy and funny BUT some of these guys have issues, that will be discussed eventually, that they need to work through and it's gonna have a fair amount of angst at times.
> 
> stan: Bird Boy  
> eddie: anxiety™/ not m'eds  
> richie: bitchie  
> bill: b b billiam  
> ben: eggsy  
> bev: queen b  
> mike: not ike

**_Local Losers™_ **

_(_   _4:47 PM )_

 

 **b b billiam:**  georgie's costume is actually coming along really well and i'm kind of impressed with myself?????

 **bitchie:**  wish i could be impressed too but ur a FAKE and wont give us any details

 **b b billiam:** georgie wants it to be a surprise

 **bitchie:**  ur still a fake

 **Bird Boy:**  You're going to see it tomorrow, Richie. Chill out.

 **queen b:**  for once i'm on richie's side, you won't even tell us what it's from

 **queen b:**  all you've said is that your costumes kind of match

 **not ike:**  is it from a movie? a show? a book? who knows, certainly not us

 **not ike:**  are you guys just in the same universe? are you brothers? friends? rivals? no one knows

 **Bird Boy:**  Not you too, Mike.

 **not ike:**  i'm curious

 **anxiety™:**  you guys can wait a day

 **eggsy:**  bill i'm not surprised it looks good you're really good at putting together costumes

 **b b billiam:**  thanks ben, you're v sweet

 **bitchie:**  still a fake

 **anxiety™:**  richie chill

 **eggsy:**  we're still meeting at bill's at 4:30 to take georgie trick or treating right

 **queen b:**  and then we're going to my house to watch movies until we pass out bc my aunt's out of town for the weekend and she already assumed you guys would be over

 **b b billiam:**  y'all better behave yourselves around georgie

 **b b billiam:**  and by y'all i mean bitchie over there

 **bitchie:**  excuse you

 **bitchie:**  im a perfect gentleman what the hell billiam

 **Bird Boy:**  hahahahahahahahaha

 **not ike:**  did richie just break stan

 **Bird Boy:**  Good one, Richie.

 **anxiety™:**  your nickname is literally trashmouth

 **queen b:**  you're a nightmare rich

 **anxiety™:**  like you're any better, the last time we hung out with georgie you brought up furries

 **bitchie:**  awe babe knew i could count on you to defend me

 **anxiety™:**  you're still a dumbass

 **anxiety™:**  but like, my dumbass

 **not ike:**  look at eddie being all soft and shit

 **anxiety™:**  shut the fuck up mike i will end you

 **not ike:**  never mind i take it back

 **eggsy:**  listen, it's not bev's fault bill's a furry

 **queen b:**  exactly!!!

 **b b billiam:**  i'm not a furry you heathens

 **anxiety™:**  how many times have you seen zootopia bill?

 **b b billiam:**  zootopia is one of ben's favorite movies but you guys don't call /him/ a furry

 **eggsy:**  hey don't bring me into this you furry

 **queen b:**  all of ben's favorite movies are animated movies that means nothing

 **not ike:**  besides that one time we watched it together you told me you had a Thing for nick

 **b b billiam:**  we were high as fuck mike

 **not ike:**  so?

 **bitchie:**  bill whats ur fursona

 **b b billiam:**  i hate all y'all so much

 **eggsy:**  all y'all?

 **not ike:**  and fake southern bill makes yet another appearance

 **b b billiam:**  twitter has ruined me

 **b b billiam:**  none of that matters anyways, don't bring up furries in front of my baby brother bev

 **queen b:**  it just slipped out

 **b b billiam:**  doesn't matter

 **b b billiam:**  @ richie AND bev, behave around georgie or i'm grounding you both from seeing him

 **not ike:**  that's brutal

 **eggsy:**  sucks to be you two

 **queen b:**  you wouldn't dare

 **b b billiam:**  try me bitch

 **bitchie:**  i came out to have a good time and i'm honestly feeling so attacked right now

 **b b billiam:**  good

 

_**b b billiam >>> bitchie** _

_( 5:32 PM )_

 

 **b b billiam:**  you doing anything for dinner?

 **bitchie:**  ill figure something out

 **b b billiam:**  wanna come over? georgie says he misses you

 **b b billiam:**  and before you say no, my dad is working late so he won't even be there

 **bitchie:**  i dont wanna intrude

 **b b billiam:**  shut the hell up dumbass, you're not intruding

 **bitchie:**  im serious bill

 **b b billiam:**  georgie just came to tell me he already told mom you were coming over, he sounds excited

 **b b billiam:**  you gonna disappoint my baby brother, trashmouth?

 **bitchie:**  you dont have to take care of me you know

 **b b billiam:**  most of our parents are shit, someone's got to look out for us

 **bitchie:**  stop being soft ur ruining my tough guy exterior

 **b b billiam:**  hA

 **bitchie:**  really though… thank you

 **b b billiam** : always

 

**_Local Losers™_ **

_( 7:02 PM )_

 

 **bitchie:**  which one of you fuckers taught georgie how to cheat at candy land this boy is kicking my ass and i am Not impressed

 **Bird Boy:**  Almost two full hours went by without me being assaulted by Richie's ugly ass presence. 

 **Bird Boy:**  So close, but so far away.

 **bitchie:**  okay stanethan we all know ur the one who taught georgie to cheat

 **b b billiam:**  he's not cheating you just suck at candy land

 **anxiety™:**  richie sucks at everything no one is surprised

 **bitchie:**  ;P

 **anxiety™:**  i'm breaking up with you

 **not ike:**  why doesn't anyone in this god forsaken chat use emojis smiley faces are UGLY

 **bitchie:**  (woahjusttakeiteasyman.gif)

 **queen b:**  alright why wasn't i invited to this georgie hang out session

 **bitchie:**  not only were you not invited but guess who got to see georgie's costume

 **queen b:**  bill's dead to me

 **b b billiam:**  hey!

 **bitchie:**  georgie looks like a total badass and ill admit bill actually did a really good job

 **not ike:**  why does richie get to be the one who sees the costume

 **Bird Boy:**  Why does it matter so much? Everyone is going to see him when we take him trick or treating tomorrow.

 **not ike:**  because staniel georgie is adorable, i love him, and i want to know

 **bitchie:**  sorry folx georgie is excited and im not about to ruin that little boys happiness

 **queen b:**  bill is still dead to me

 **eggsy:**  baby stop being a dramatic pile of salt

 **anxiety™:**  shots fired

 **queen b:**  ben what the hell

 **eggsy:**  you're being dramatic and salty, hence the dramatic pile of salt

 **eggsy:**  but like… still cute and loveable

 **anxiety™:**  richie has called me the dumbest things but he's never called me a dramatic pile of salt

 **queen b:**  get on our level

 **anxiety™:**  no thanks i like my level now

 **bitchie:**  aw m'eds :')

 **anxiety™:**  what the fuck is m'eds

 **bitchie:**  you know

 **bitchie:**  its like medicine but its also like my eds

 **bitchie:**  m'eds - two of my nicknames combined in one

 **anxiety™:**  never say that to me again

 **bitchie:**  its cute!!!

 **anxiety™:**  never. bring. it. up. again.

 **bitchie:**  sorry if i like to give cute nicknames to my cute little boyfriend

 **anxiety™:**  i hate you so much

 **queen b:**  no you don't

 **not ike:**  no you don't

 **eggsy:**  no you don't

 **(queen b changed anxiety™ name to m'eds)**  

 **m'eds:**  i don't claim any of you

 **Birdman:**  You're so dramatic.

 **m'eds:**  bite me

 **Birdman:**  Hard pass.

 **not ike:**  savage

 **bitchie:**  dont worry angel baby ill bite you

 **m'eds:**  i literally hate all of you so much

 **Bill:**  thats a dambable lie your honor

 **m'eds:**  y'all are the worst

 **(m'eds changed m'eds name to not m'eds)**  

 **bitchie:**  ill take it

 

_**bitchie >>> not m'eds** _

_( 7:20 PM )_

 

 **bitchie:**  wanna know something really cute

 **not m'eds:**  i doubt it but you're going to tell me anyway

 **bitchie:**  its about georgie

 **not m'eds:**  … i'm listening

 **bitchie:**  and his halloween costume

 **not m'eds:**  okay i love that kid to death but i really don't care that much i can literally just see it tomorrow

 **bitchie:**  no this is so fucking cute

 **bitchie:**  georgie wanted to do matching costumes with bill this year and bill told him he could pick whatever he wanted

 **not m'eds:**  that's actually really cute

 **bitchie:**  just wait it gets better

 **bitchie:**  theres a show that mike bill and georgie watch together

 **bitchie:**  its their Thing

 **not m'eds:**  yeah they won't let any of us come over when they're watching it even though i'm pretty sure ben watches it too

 **bitchie:**  so georgie picked characters from that show to dress up as

 **bitchie:**  partially bc one of the characters has a prosthetic arm and partially bc mike /really/ likes one of the characters

 **not m'eds:**  oh my god

 **not m'eds:**  you're telling me georgie picked bill's halloween costume specifically because it's mike's favorite character from a show they watch together

 **bitchie:**  YES!!!

 **not m'eds:**  holy shit he's adorable

 **not m'eds:**  georgie once again proving he's the Best boy

 **bitchie:**  also he told me a secret and said im only allowed to tell you bc i tell you everything

 **not m'eds:**  even georgie knows we can't keep anything from each other

 **bitchie:**  he says he knows that bill likes stan and mike and he thinks they both like him

 **bitchie:**  and he really wants them to date bc he thinks they'd make each other so happy

 **not m'eds:**  this boy is NINE and even he can pick up on the fact that they have the hots for each other while those three remain clueless

 **bitchie:**  ive tried talking to stan but hes hopeless

 **not m'eds:**  bill's hopeless too, so is mike

 **bitchie:**  does this mean we get to intervene

 **not m'eds:**  >:)

 **bitchie:**  thats my baby

 

_**Local Losers™** _

_( 12:46 AM )_

 

 **bitchie:**  spies are forever

 **b b billiam:**  oh god please no

 **bitchie:**  once a spy always a spy forever forever

 **bitchie:**  THE WARMEST HELLO TO THE COLDEST GOODBYE

 **Bird Boy:**  Richie it's midnight please don't.

 **eggsy:**  SPIES NEVER DIE, SPIES ARE FOREVER

 **Bird Boy:**  I hate you both so much.

 **Bird Boy:**  I'm trying to /sleep/. I don't need to be thinking about how in love Curt and Owen were.

 **Bird Boy:**  Also the lyrics look so ugly when you don't use commas, please get your life together Richard.

 **not ike:**  go the fuck to sleep all of you

 **eggsy:**  but now I really wanna watch spies are forever

 **queen b:**  GO TO SLEEP NOW

 **bitchie:**  can we please watch spies are forever this weekend

 **Bird Boy:**  …

 **Bird Boy:**  Only if we watch Twisted too.

 **eggsy:**  if we're watching those we might as well watch starship and holy musical b@tman

 **bitchie:**  and firebringer and the solve it squad

 **b b billiam:**  y'all literally have a separate gc for this please use it and stop blowing up my phone

 **not m'eds:**  JESUS CHRIST RICHIE STOP TALKING ABOUT THOSE GAY ASS SPIES AND COME KISS ME YOU ASSHOLE

 **not m'eds:**  i'm literally laying right on top of you and you're singing a muscial what the FUCK

 **b b billiam:**  oh

 **not m'eds:**  fuck that was meant to be a private message

 **bitchie:**  sorry gays my man is obviously in need of my love

 **not m'eds:**  fuck off richie i'm kicking you out of bed now

 **bitchie:**  were still doing a marathon this weekend though right

 **Bird Boy:**  Definitely.

 **eggsy:**  we can do it at my house

 **not ike:**  okay now all of you go the fuck to sleep right now we have school in the morning

 **eggsy:**  okay dad, chill

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I'm not funny or original so we'll see how this goes. Halloween was a while ago but I'm starting here because it's kind of important to the plot. Plus I started writing this like a month ago but my anxiety and perfectionism kept me from posting it sooner. Also, let's just pretend Halloween was on a Friday. 
> 
> I love the tin can brothers and team starkid's musicals a lot, I couldn't help myself. Bonus points to anyone who can guess the show I mentioned Bill and Georgie's costumes are from. Hint: think space


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> queen b: jesus stan you're so fucking gay calm down 
> 
> Bird Boy: Thanks, I take that as a compliment. 
> 
> queen b: if i didn't love you so much i would murder you 
> 
> Bird Boy: >:)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why it's taken me so long to update this, I'm just not in the best place right now so I don't have much motivation to write. Not to mention I didn't have WiFi for a while and my laptop broke. I'm really trying to get back into the groove of things so I'm going to try and update some of my other fics tomorrow and post at least a chapter a week. We'll see how that goes. 
> 
> (I really don't know how it happened but somehow I managed to delete this chapter so this is my second time posting it. It's all pretty much the same thing, I only had to rewrite two small parts that I didn't have saved)
> 
> stan: Bird Boy  
> eddie: not m'eds  
> richie: bitchie   
> bill: b b billiam  
> ben: eggsy  
> bev: queen b  
> mike: not ike

_**not ike >>> Bill ** _

_(7:05)_

**not ike:** it's really cold out this morning, you want me to pick you up before school?  

 **not ike:** i can grab georgie too 

 **b b billiam:** it's okay he has a doctor's appointment early today so my mom's taking him 

 **not ike:** okay but i can still come pick you up 

 **b b billiam:** it's fine i'm gonna walk like usual  

 **not ike:** bill…  

 **b b billiam:** i'll be okay mike 

 **not ike:** it's freezing outside, you know i'll be careful and i can even come early so we can take the long way 

 **b b billiam:** it's okay, mike. thanks for the offer but i… can't  

 **not ike:** okay 

 **not ike:** i won't pressure you but you better wear a coat, your house isn't exactly close to the school 

 **b b billiam:** dad mike strikes again 

 **not ike:** shush 

 **b b billiam:** really though, thanks for the offer. it means a lot. 

 **not ike:** any time 

 

**_Local Losers™_ **

_(7:10 AM)_

 

**not m'eds:** hi, hello, yes. richie is dead to me. 

 **eggsy:** what the hell did he do this time 

 **not m'eds:** he started stranger things 2 without me and almost finished it already 

 **eggsy:** ha, sucks to suck 

 **not m'eds:** who do you think he watched it with?  

 **eggsy:** bev how could you 

 **queen b:**  listen I can explain 

 **eggsy:** you were supposed to wait for me :/ 

 **queen b:** baby i'm sorry :(

 **Bird Boy:** It's way too early to be subjected to the Hets™.  

 **Bird Boy:** Like I haven't even eaten anything yet and I already feel like vomiting.  

 **queen b:** jesus stan you're so fucking gay calm down 

 **Bird Boy:** Thanks, I take that as a compliment. 

 **queen b:** if i didn't love you so much i would murder you 

 **Bird Boy:**  >:) 

 

**_Local Losers™_ **

_(7:45 AM)_

 

 **bitchie:** (elevendressedasaghostsayinghalloween.jpeg) 

 **queen b:** sure is 

 **b b billiam:** (iunderstandthatreference.jpeg) 

 **not ike:** bill you didn't 

 **b b billiam:** uhhhhh 

 **not ike:** William. 

 **b b billiam:** Michael. 

 **not ike:** i can't believe you watched it without me and stan 

 **Bird Boy:** You watched Stranger Things season 2 without us? 

 **b b billiam:** I'm sorry!!!! 

 **Bird Boy:** Blocked. 

 **bitchie:** you cant block people irl we talked about this 

 **Bird Boy:** Watch me. 

 **queen b:** you don't even like the show that much 

 **Bird Boy:** Doesn't matter.  

 **bitchie:** ur so dramatic 

 **Bird Boy:** You're one to talk, Richard. 

 **bitchie:** and you say eds is the dramatic one 

 **not m'eds:** don't bring me into this i'm still mad at you 

 **bitchie:** listen we watched it at bevs  

 **not m'eds:** wow, can't believe you're all dead to me

 **not ike:** you just decided to watch it out of the blue together 

 **not ike:** i mean the bonding is cute and all but  

 **not ike:** why  

 **b b billiam:** i needed to get out 

 **bitchie:** i needed to get out 

 **eggsy:** you sent those at the same time I thought that was something only richie and eddie could do 

 **queen b:** they needed a distraction so I put on stranger things 2 

 **queen b:** we were only gonna watch the first episode but we got carried away 

 **not ike:** huh 

 **not m'eds:** you're making it hard for me to be mad at you 

 **eggsy:** same 

 **queen b:** how bout instead of watching movies we all just watch st2 after we drop off georgie 

 **queen b:** it's good enough to rewatch the episodes we've already seen and i love my psychic daughter and my sad son will 

 **bitchie:** dont forget max 

 **b b billiam:** and babysitter steve 

 **queen b:** so much relationship and character building 

 **not m'eds:** okay fine 

 **not ike:** now enough spoilers you heathens and get to school 

 **eggsy:** dad mike strikes again 

 **not m'eds:** dad mike is my favorite mike 

 **queen b:** dad mike is everyone's favorite mike 

 **not ike:** shush it 

 **b b billiam:** did someone say,, heathens

 **bitchie:** HEAHTENS!!!!

 **Bird Boy:** No, absolutely not. It's way to early for your emo shit. 

 **b b billiam:** but we miss them :(

 **Bird Boy:** No.

 **bitchie:** :-(

 

**_Local Losers™_ **

_(9:45 AM)_

 

 **b b billiam:** english started five minutes ago and Richie already has detention 

 **not m'eds:** what the hell did you do richie  

 **bitchie:** i breathed  

 **queen b:** yeah okay what'd you really do 

 **b b billiam:** he dropped his pencil during a quiz and davidson accused him of trying to cheat so richie told him to fuck off under his breath 

 **b b billiam:** there's no way davidson could have heard him say anything but he still gave him a detention 

 **bitchie:** it was bullshit

 **b b billiam:** even stan glared at davidson

 **queen b:** davidson is a prick  

 **bitchie:** davidson hates me 

 **not ike:** to be fair i think davidson hates everyone 

 **bitchie:** he's transphobic as hell 

 **b b billiam:** and homophobic 

 **not ike:** and racist  

 **not m'eds:** he'd be the type of person to murder someone 

 **bitchie:** yeah murder me probably  

 **b b billiam:** you better not have thrown a wrench in our halloween plans because you got detention richie georgie is going to be so sad 

 **queen b:** if you make georgie cry i will end you 

 **not m'eds:** nobody is gonna end my boyfriend except for me 

 **not m'eds:** and i will end you if you make georgie cry 

 **bitchie:** chill out davidson has something to do so he moved the detention to monday 

 **bitchie:** also i noticed how none of you jumped to reassure me when i said davidson was going to murder me thanks for that i feel so much better 

 **b b billiam:** we've all wanted to murder you at some point richie it's really not a surprise  

 **bitchie:** touche 

 **not m'eds:** wait does this mean we have a pop quiz i didn't read /anything/ 

 **bitchie:** sparknotes babe 

 **eggsy:** i'll walk you through it at lunch 

 **not m'eds:** you're a life saver thanks ben 

 **not ike:** uh, i didn't read anything either 

 **queen b** : i read,, half 

 **eggsy:** okay wow you guys are hopeless  

 **eggsy:** i guess i'm walking all three of you through it at lunch 

 **queen b:** you're an angel 

 **not ike:** an actual godsend  

 **not m'eds:** truly the best of the losers 

 

_**bill protection squad** _

_(12: 50 PM)_

**bitchie:** hey we havent used this in a while 

 **Bird Boy:** Why are you texting in a group chat when we're all at the same table? 

 **bitchie:** uh maybe because bill just fell asleep in the middle of a conversation thats not exactly normal 

 **bitchie:** does anyone know whats wrong with him

 **bitchie:** i dont want to wake him up and i dont want him to hear us talk about him you know how he gets when we worry 

 **queen b:** maybe we should wake him up 

 **not m'eds:** i think he's just really tired 

 **not m'eds:** he kept almost falling asleep in class earlier, i had to hit the desk a few times to get him to wake up 

 **not ike:** do you think he's having problems sleeping again? 

 **eggsy:** maybe, it has been a year since the accident and that can't be easy for him right now 

 **not ike** : he wouldn't let me drive him to school this morning even though it was freezing 

 **Bird Boy:** Yeah, he's still having problems riding in cars.  

 **queen b:**  i know things aren't the best at home right now 

 **queen b:** he didn't want me to tell anyone but he's been coming over at night a lot lately

 **not ike:** if he's having problems sleeping again he's probably having nightmares again 

 **Bird Boy:** We should probably wake him up. 

 **eggsy:** he looks so tired though 

 **Bird Boy:** Yeah, but if he is having nightmares again he's not going to want to have one in the middle of the cafeteria. 

 **bitchie:** im not doing it he looks way too damn peaceful i cant ruin that 

 **Bird Boy:** Richie, you literally ruin everyone's peace what are you talking about. 

 **bitchie:** aww stan lee you know you love me 

 **Bird Boy:** Lies.  

 **not ike:** the bell rings in like ten minutes we can wake him up then 

 **queen b:** and we can keep an eye on him tonight at my house 

 **not m'eds:** he can't know though, if he knows we're worried and keeping an eye on him he'll freak 

 **eggsy:** why is everyone looking at me all of the sudden!  

 **bitchie:** bc you can't keep a secret to save your life and ur always so obvious about everything

 **eggsy:** okay maybe you have a point there but i won't make it weird 

 

**_Local Losers™_ **

(3:43 PM)

 

 **b b billiam:** just a reminder to behave around my brother or you'll be grounded from him 

 **bitchie:** yeah stan behave around georgie 

 **Bird Boy:** Everyone and their dog knows he's talking about you, dumbass. 

 **bitchie:**  thats fair 

 **b b billiam:** that goes for EVERYONE, but especially richie. and bev. 

 **b b billiam:** i won't hesitate, bitch 

 **bitchie:** (woahjusttakeiteasyman.gif) 

 **not m'eds:** ffs richie stop using that gif for everything  

 **bitchie:** (woahjusttakeiteasyman.gif) 

 **not m'eds:** i'm breaking up with you  

 **bitchie:** (woahjusttakeiteasyman.gif) bby pls 

 **not m'eds:** stan control your best friend 

 **Bird Boy:** Excuse me but he's your boyfriend, you control him.  

 **not m'eds:** why is he always /my/ boyfriend when he's out of control 

 **Bird Boy:**  Why is he always /my/ best friend when he's out of control. 

 **bitchie:** awww you guys love me 

 **Bird Boy:** Jury's still out on that one buddy.  

 **not m'eds:** agreed 

 **bitchie:** :-( 

 **not m'eds:** ew stop giving your smiley faces noses  

 **not ike:** or you could use the actual real emojis your phone comes with  

 **queen b:** stop making richie sad and apologize you assholes  

 **Bird Boy:** Bev, chill. 

 **queen b:** never 

 **bitchie:** bevs always got my back 8-) 

 **not m'eds:** why does that actually look like you 

 **bitchie:** because im awesome 

 **Bird Boy:** Okay enough of that we're moving on now. 

 **b b billiam:** georgie is so excited to go trick or treating with you guys you have no idea 

 **eggsy:** georgie is an angel 

 **queen b:** i love (1) child 

 **Bird Boy:** Georgie restores my faith in humanity. 

 **not ike:** plus now we get to see his costume! 

 **b b billiam:** yes finally you and bev can stop being so damn annoying 

 **queen b:** i take offense to that 

 **b b billiam:** good 

 

_**eggsy >>> not ike** _

_(4:32 PM)_

 

 **eggsy:** galra keith huh 

 **not ike:** i'm about to lose my damn mind he looks so good 

 **eggsy:** yeah i saw the look on your face when you saw bill dressed up like keith 

 **not ike:** not just keith but galra keith!!! i love keith, ben 

 **eggsy:** i know you do 

 **not ike:** and the costume looks so good i can't believe it 

 **eggsy:** georgie's costume looks good too 

 **not ike:** i don't know how bill got his prosthetic to look so much like shiro's arm but he did and it looks amazing 

 **not ike:**  i am so in love with him 

 **eggsy:** mhm i noticed how you couldn't seem to take your eyes off of stan either  

 **not ike:** oh god he's dressed as billy from the new power rangers movie, ben 

 **not ike:** i love billy 

 **eggsy:** you've got it so bad for both of them 

 **not ike:** my two favorite boys decided to dress up as two of my favorite characters, i can't handle this 

 **eggsy:** you're so whipped 

 **not ike:** i can't even deny it at this point 

 

_**not m'eds >>> bitchie** _

_(5:04 PM)_

 

 **not m'eds:** did you see mike

 **bitchie:** yeah he seems to really like stans costume

 **bitchie:** and bills too but i cant take credit for that one

 **not m'eds:** i can't believe stan let you chose his costume

 **bitchie:** it wasn't that hard he really likes billy

 **not m'eds:** so does mike

 **bitchie:** thats the point babe

 **not m'eds:**  for once one of your plans actually worked

 **not m'eds:** but we're gonna have to takes things a step further if we want them to admit their feelings for each other

 **bitchie:** sounds like you have a plan

 **not m'eds:** of course I do

 **bitchie:** thats my baby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the plot thickens... kind of. Things are really going to heat up in the next couple of chapters so expect a lot of angst. Also, congrats to those who guessed the show from last chapter was Voltron. I like a lot of different things so somehow this has become the "how many fandom references can haley make in one fic" fic (there were four different ones just in this chapter alone).
> 
> Come find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/starkidjoshler)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> not m'eds: no one cares about thanksgiving, all it does is celebrate genocidal white people anyways  
> not ike: jesus you're brutally honest when you first wake up  
> Bird Boy: Why are you texting in the group chat when we're literally all in the same room?  
> not m'eds: because I'm gay and I do what I want  
> Bird Boy: Fair enough, carry on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might need to give a slight warning for transphobia this chapter, it's really nothing big but Richie's parents are not accepting of him and that's briefly mentioned towards the end of the chapter. I figured I should put a warning for it anyway just to be safe.
> 
> stan: Bird Boy  
> eddie: not m'eds  
> richie: bitchie  
> bill: b b billiam  
> ben: eggsy  
> bev: queen b  
> mike: not ike

**_Local Losers™_**  

_(12:06 PM)_

 

 **not m'eds** : can you guys believe it's already christmas 

 **queen b** : it's only november 1st???? 

 **not m'eds** : aka the start of christmas 

 **not ike**: what about thanksgiving?  

 **not m'eds** : no one cares about thanksgiving, all it does is celebrate genocidal white people anyways 

 **not ike**: jesus you're brutally honest when you first wake up 

 **Bird Boy** **:** Why are you texting in the group chat when we're literally all in the same room? 

 **not m'eds** : because I'm gay and I do what I want 

 **Bird Boy** **:**  Fair enough, carry on. 

 **not m'eds** : thank you stanley at least someone understands me 

 **(not m'eds changed the group name to deck the hoes)**    
 

 **queen b** : eddie we have a "no christmas in the gc until december" rule for a reason 

 **not m'eds** : I'm well aware of the rule bev but because it's a stupid rule I've elected to ignore it 

 **queen b** : you're insufferable  

 **not m'eds** : aw I love you too 

 **bitchie** : i love the new gc name baby 

 **not m'eds** : thanks chee at least someone in this godforsaken gc supports me 

 **queen b** : you're so dramatic eddie  

 **not m'eds** : thanks!! I take that as a compliment  

 

_**Bitchie >>> Bird Boy ** _

_(3:58PM)_

 

 **bitchie** : thought you might want to see this picture i took last night 

 **bitchie** : (image attached of bill, stan and mike asleep - bill's head is on stan's shoulder and mike's head is in stan's lap) 

 **Bird Boy** **:**  Oh my god. 

 **bitchie** : you guys are so cute im making this my homescreen 

 **Bird Boy** **:** Don't you dare. 

 **bitchie** : but its adorable 

 **Bird Boy** **:**  Richie.  

 **bitchie** : are you saying you dont think its cute 

 **Bird Boy** **:**  I didn't say that. 

 **bitchie** : because it is 

 **bitchie** : very cute 

 **Bird Boy** **:**  It doesn't mean anything, they were just tired.  

 **bitchie** : stan come on now you're not that dumb 

 **bitchie** : bill's barely been sleeping lately but somehow he was able to fall asleep on you and mike hardly ever sleeps 

 **bitchie** : mayhaps that means something 

 **Bird Boy** **:**  Mayhaps you're an idiot. 

 **Bird Boy** **:** I've already told you, neither one of them would ever like me like that.  

 **bitchie** : i disagree  

 **bitchie** : how many times do I have to tell you they both have a thing for you before you believe me 

 **Bird Boy** **:**  I really don't want to talk about that right now, drop it. Please.  

 **bitchie** : whats wrong 

 **Bird Boy** **:**  Nothing's wrong.  

 **bitchie** : ur a shit liar  

 **Bird Boy** **:**  It's just... a bad day. Mom's annoyed with me again.  

 **Bird Boy** **:** fuck her 

 **bitchie** : do you want to go get ice cream with me or something 

 **Bird Boy** **:**  I really don't want to be around people right now.  

 **bitchie** : okay i'll bring ice cream and we can have that starkid musical marathon we talked about 

 **Bird Boy** **:**  But ben got called in to work. 

 **bitchie** : its fine we can have one with him some other time 

 **bitchie** : hell understand 

 **Bird Boy** : Wouldn't you rather hang out with Eddie, you're usually attached at the hip on the weekends.  

 **bitchie** : yeah his mom is super pissed off bc he fell asleep with his phone on silent + he ignored her all morning so hes on lockdown  

 **bitchie** : besides ur my best friend and you need me 

 **Bird Boy** : I... okay. Thanks, Richie.  

 **bitchie** : any time stan lee 

 

_**b b billiam >>> queen b** _

_(10:58 PM)_  

 

 **b b billiam** : are you at home 

 **queen b** : yeah I just got back from hanging with ben and mike 

 **queen b** : you okay? 

 **b b billiam** : not really 

 **b b billiam** : is it okay if i come over 

 **queen b** : of course, you're always welcome you know that 

 **b b billiam** : i just don't want to intrude 

 **queen b** : you're not intruding, all of you have an open invitation from my aunt to spend as much time over here as you need 

 **b b billiam** : yeah but lately i've been spending a lot of time over there  

 **queen b** : and?  

 **b b billiam** : i don't want it to get annoying  

 **queen b** : richie spends just as much time over here, if not more, and neither me nor my aunt find it annoying 

 **queen b** : she already calls the spare room "richie and bill's room" 

 **b b billiam** : my own parents are annoyed with me bev i'd understand if you were too 

 **queen b** : your parents are fucking stupid and they make me want to fight them 

 **b b billiam** : you can't fight everyone 

 **queen b** : i can sure as hell try

 **queen b** : nobody fucks with my boys and that goes for all of you

 **b b billiam** : it's fine really they're just being... ugh

 **b b billiam** : i shouldn't even complain it's my own fault

 **queen b** : do you want to talk about it 

 **b b billiam** : no I really don't  

 **queen b** : how about we order pizza and have a harry potter marathon so we can pretend that our problems don't exist  

 **b b billiam** : that sounds perfect 

 **queen b** : i'll call it in now 

 

_**deck the hoes** _

_(12: 58 PM, next day)_

 

 **bitchie** : i miss eds 

 **Bird Boy** : I KNOW.  

 **Bird Boy** : You've already told me that 12 times today and you just woke up 20 minutes ago. 

 **not ike**: i take it he's still on lockdown 

 **Bird Boy** : Yes and I'm the one who has to pay the price. 

 **eggsy** : it's been less than 24 hours richie  

 **bitchie** : you have no room to talk egg boy you turn in to a love sick fool if you can't talk to bev 

 **eggsy** : i'm really regretting telling you that egg story will you ever stop calling me egg boy 

 **bitchie** : never 

 **queen b** : be nice to my boyfriend richard  

 **bitchie** : fine 

 **bitchie** : i just miss my eds

 **not ike**: we know 

 **bitchie** : and I really hate his mom 

 **eggsy** : so do we 

 **Bird Boy** : He's going to be fine, Richie. 

 **bitchie** : i know that but still 

 **Bird Boy** : Will Firebringer cheer you up? 

 **bitchie** : …

 **bitchie** : maybe 

 **Bird Boy** : Then come watch it with me dumbass. 

 **not ike**: aren't you guys in the same room 

 **Bird Boy** : Yes. 

 **bitchie** : and what about it 

 **queen b** : you guys are so dumb 

 **eggsy** : wait i want to watch firebringer too 

 **bitchie** : come watch it with us then 

 **eggsy** : give me ten minutes 

 

_**deck the hoes** _

_(4:37 PM)_

 

 **queen b** : if the fact that the emoji movie is actually popular at work isn't proof that we're on the darkest timeline i don't know what is 

 **not ike**: sick community reference bev, abed would be proud 

 **queen b** : what 

 **not ike**: what 

 **b b billiam** : ooo rent the emoji movie, i think that'd be a good movie we could watch with georgie 

 **queen b** : you also thought sausage party would be a good movie we could watch with georgie 

 **b b billiam** : how was i supposed to know it was dirty, i thought it was just a cartoon about food 

 **queen b** : all you need to know is that it's seth rogan's movie to know that it is highly inappropriate for kids 

 **Bird Boy** : Please do not make us watch the Emoji Movie.  

 **b b billiam** : not even for georgie?  

 **not ike**: i'm beginning to think you want to watch this movie for yourself, bill 

 **b b billiam** : i'm curious, sue me 

 **bitchie** : we havent done a bad movie night in a while we can count this as one and we can even watch it with georgie 

 **queen b** : i should never have mentioned anything 

 **not ike**: too late now you know they're not going to drop it 

 **queen b** : ugh i hate you guys 

 **bitchie** : no you don't  

 **queen b** : stop exposing me trashmouth 

 **bitchie** : never 

 

_**Bitchie** **> >> not m'eds** _

_(8:06 PM)_

 

 **bitchie** : good morning eddie 

 **not m'eds** : it's 8 o'clock???? 

 **bitchie** : and 

 **not m'eds** : at night  

 **bitchie** : time isnt real 

 **not m'eds** : hmmm okay  

 **not m'eds** : what's wrong 

 **bitchie** : nothing??? 

 **not m'eds** : no something's wrong, you called me eddie  

 **bitchie** : so??? 

 **not m'eds** : you only call me eddie when something's wrong 

 **bitchie** : tf no i dont  

 **not m'eds** : yes, you do 

 **not m'eds** : chee what's wrong 

 **bitchie** : that's cheating 

 **not m'eds** : tell me 

 **bitchie** : im fine baby dont worry 

 **not m'eds** : that's a bold faced lie 

 **not m'eds** : did something happen with your mom? dad? 

 **bitchie** : eds im okay i promise i just really missed you

 **bitchie** : i dont like it when i cant talk to you

 **not m'eds** : fine 

 **not m'eds** : i'm coming over 

 **bitchie** : what! no! 

 **not m'eds** : tell me what's wrong 

 **bitchie** : my moms already passed out and my dads drunk as hell and raging 

 **not m'eds** : fuck 

 **bitchie** : im okay baby really 

 **bitchie** : i just needed to talk to you 

 **not m'eds** : you sure you don't want me to come over 

 **bitchie** : definitely sure 

 **bitchie** : i dont want you over here 

 **not m'eds** : how bad is it 

 **bitchie** : nothing i cant handle 

 **not m'eds** : that doesn't make me feel any better 

 **bitchie** : you dont have to worry about me eds i can take it 

 **not m'eds** : just because you think you can take it doesn't mean you should have to 

 **bitchie** : its fine really 

 **bitchie** : i just... wish things were better and they didnt hate me so much 

 **bitchie** : like i know im a disappointment and they deserve so much better than me but do they have to remind me every fucking day of how much they hate me and how much they wish i was someone else 

 **not m'eds** : jesus fuck richie you're not a disappointment  

 **not m'eds** : they're lucky they have a son as amazing as you are 

 **bitchie** : thats the thing though they wish they didnt have a son 

 **bitchie** : my mom wanted a daughter all her life and she thought she had finally gotten one but look at me now 

 **bitchie** : i couldnt possibly be a bigger disappointment than i am

 **not m'eds** : that's not on you, baby, that's on them 

 **not m'eds** : they're just transphobic assholes who can't see how amazing you truly are and you definitely don't deserve all the shit they put you through 

 **not m'eds** : you mean everything to me dumbass and I'm not gonna let you talk shit about yourself 

 **bitchie** : im honestly such a fucking mess 

 **not m'eds** : legit you are but you're a mess i'm willing to deal with 

 **bitchie** : god damn i fucking love you 

 **not m'eds** : i fucking love you more 

 **bitchie** : that's fucking impossible 

 **not m'eds** : no it's fucking not 

 **bitchie** : wanna fucking bet 

 **not m'eds** : yeah i fucking do 

 **bitchie** : i wanna kiss the fuck out of you 

 **not m'eds** : then come the fuck over 

 **bitchie** : your mom will literally murder me shes pissed enough as it as 

 **not m'eds** : then i'll go to you 

 **bitchie** : no! i told you i dont want you over here 

 **not m'eds** : then let's go to bev's 

 **bitchie** : im tired of being a burden on her 

 **not m'eds** : shut the fuck up you're not a burden 

 **bitchie** : im a burden on everyone eds 

 **bitchie** : you all have your own problems and i just fucking make everything so much worse for all of you 

 **not m'eds** : what kind of bullshit is that 

 **bitchie** : it's not bullshit it’s the truth 

 **bitchie** : bill has his own issues but he's always preoccupied with making sure i have enough to eat, i spend more time at bev's than i do my own house, you and stan always get the brunt of my depressive rants, and mike and ben do whatever they can to help me out 

 **not m'eds** : you're our friend dumbass, we care about you so of course we're going to be there for you 

 **not m'eds** : and, if you haven't noticed, we're all a mess and we take care of each other 

 **bitchie** : i dont deserve it though, y'all deserve a hell of a lot better than me 

 **not m'eds** : is that so? 

 **bitchie** : yeah of course it is 

 **not m'eds** : alright just know you brought this on yourself 

 **bitchie** : ??? 

 

 **deck the hoes**  

(8:45 PM) 

 

 **not m'eds** : hey guys richie would like to apologize for being a burden on us 

 **eggsy** : he'd like to what now 

 **not m'eds** : (image attached, screenshot of richie and eddie's messages starting from "im a burden on everyone eds) 

 **bitchie** : eddie baby why 

 **bitchie** : every single one of them is typing at one time what have you done 

 **not m'eds** : trying to prove to you how dumb you're being

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I work at a movie rental store and I wrote the part about the emoji movie when it first came out. I thought it'd be cool to have one of them also work at a movie rental store so that's where Bev works.
> 
> This chapter was getting really long so I needed to find a place to stop it and there seemed like a good idea. Also, I promise I'll explain bill's angst soon (probably next chapter?) because I was going to explain it this chapter but nothing felt right.
> 
> I don't know how many people are still interested in this but it's really fun to write so I'm gonna stick with it.
> 
> Come find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/negasonicdun)


End file.
